Addicted to running

Coach Phil Marsh shares the incredible journey of eight recovering drug addicts who discovered the natural high that comes from running a marathon

It's 6 a.m. Sunday morning. Soon, more than 3,600 runners will arrive to begin the 42.2k journey to the finish line of the Ottawa Marathon. Among them, a group of men clad in matching team shirts, nervous and excited. For these men, this marathon isn't just the adventure of a lifetime — it could very well extend that lifetime, since each have used their training as a way to win their own battles with drug and alcohol addiction.

For some, it's a miracle that they are even alive to embark on this race. Thankfully, they share the bonds of a family that was raised apart but has bonded through their new lives at a facility called Harvest House. At 7 a.m., the Harvest House marathon team of Peter, Josh, Eric, Tom, Brent, David, James and Trevor (along with Harvest House program director Gary and I) toed the starting line.

Humble beginnings
In March 2007, I began working with a number of the residents as a coach. Harvest House program director and recovering addict Gary Wand, a runner himself, had decided that the best strategy for working with addicts was to replace an unhealthy addition with one that was healthy. And what better way than to share his passion for running with a group of men who have spent much of their lives on the run?

We set the 2007 MDS Nordion 5 and 10k events in Ottawa as the target. Meeting weekly, we began training these men to run at the same time as we began to educate them on nutrition, health, lifestyle changes and other factors that influence a typical athlete. Harvest House would focus on their continued education, demanding that they complete their GED programs and participate in work training programs that also helped fund this self-supporting program. In the end, many of these men completed either the 5 or 10k events and their story was featured in the Ottawa Citizen and on Global National, following this ground-breaking approach to recovery.

Taking it to the next level
At the finish line of the MDS Nordion 10km event, I spoke with Ottawa CBC news anchor Lucy VanOldenbarneveld. A fellow runner and marathoner, Lucy wanted to know about these guys wearing their "addict/athlete" shirts. I told her about the program and mentioned that my next goal was to get some of the guys to run the 2008 Ottawa Marathon. Over the next few months, Lucy and I kept in touch and when I mentioned the idea to Gary, he not only thought it was a great idea for the team — he decided to run the marathon too!

With any group training for the marathon, you expect to have a few members drop out because of injuries, family and work commitments. As a coach, I often tell my athletes that real life gets in the way of things like running and training. With this group also facing the daily challenges of being addicts, and the constant temptation of going back to the lifestyle that they were trying so hard to escape, we were facing even more challenges in trying getting them across the finish line.

The chosen few
The reality was that there were only a limited number of men who were physically and mentally ready to take on marathon training and have the best possible odds of finishing it. For CBC and for Dian Duthie, the producer, there would be the a considerable crisis of faith if, for any reason, halfway through the project, only a few of those who started were still involved.

We ended up selecting the eight men and our instincts about the character and strength of resolve of the men selected were better than we could have imagined. In my 22 years of coaching runners, from beginners to world-class athletes, I would find this experience not only the biggest challenge but also the most rewarding of my coaching career. I decided early on in the race that this would also be my last marathon, knowing that I could never top this adventure of a lifetime.

A whole new start
Race morning was clear and cool but I knew it was going to be warmer than the forecast. Water and food would become more important to the team's success. This became an issue, however, when we discovered that the team supply of gels was still at Harvest House. No worries, we would improvise and get gels along the route, but we could not let this minor setback cause any doubts in their already-fragile race psyche.

A group prayer led by David — the youngest of the team but a natural leader in actions and in words — was followed by some last minute advice. I especially wanted to make sure that Tom took in water along the way. The oldest member of the group at 45, Tom would be out a lot longer than the younger guys, so he'd need even more determination than most. (Thankfully, he also seems to find more meditation in his running.)

We headed to the starting corrals and the four hour group. We had agreed to run together as a team for the first 15km, which would ensure caution and an intelligent approach to this first marathon. Finishing time would be second priority to finishing strongly. I ran with a handheld video camera so that we could get some on-course interviews, as well as my cell phone so we could keep Dian and Lucy up to date on our progress.

The gun goes off and we go nowhere. A few thousand runners are ahead of us, but instead of impatience I find the guys chatting up fellow runners, looking around at the spectacle that is the marathon, and absorbing every moment of the race. We finally begin to move and I can't get over how relaxed and ready the guys seem. The demons they battle combined with facing a run 10k longer than they have ever run before seems to have been replaced with a sense of belonging to this community — they are now running with instead of from people, suddenly capable of giving and receiving encouragement from their fellow runners.

Digging deep
The heat begins to be a factor for everyone in the half and full marathon. Brent is having some issues with his feet but otherwise, no major problems. As planned, at 7:43 a.m. my phone rings, much to the amusement of those around us. It is the CBC, ready to do a live interview with David, Brent and I. It goes very well, providing the listeners a unique insight into what the guys are thinking along the way.

At 13km in Rockcliffe, it is time for the faster guys to pull away. David, Trevor and I pick up the pace to try and find the 3:45 pace group and, as we hit the halfway point, it is only David and I. I know that once I get him through 30k, my work will have only just begun, as I will be working my way back to get everyone through to the finish line. As they battle that final, infamous 12k , I figure they might need some last-minute coaching advice and support.

One by one, the guys go through the 30k mark. As James and I speak, I remember the conversation we had in March on a freezing run about both of our moms dying of cancer, and I realize how very proud they'd be of their sons right now. (Interesting what goes through your mind after 30km of running!) Josh, Peter and I run together now. Brent is struggling so I decide that I will double back after I get Josh and Peter through their finish but at 35km, Peter struggles and Josh and I pull ahead to finish.

The emotions you face as you leave one runner after the other are difficult to describe, as is the experience of the marathon. Someone once said that trying to explain running a marathon to someone who doesn't run is like trying to describe color to someone who was born blind. I had told the guys repeatedly that the last 10km of the race was unlike anything they had or would ever face. As the heat built and the sun became piercing, one by one they acknowledged that no truer words had been spoken.

Along the route, people who had been following the team's progress in the media would cheer out "go Harvest House!" or call out the names of the guys. As Josh and I reached the 40k mark, the noise of the crowd became dramatically louder and the cheers for Harvest House grew more common. "We're proud of you" was very common and I could see Josh grow stronger with every word.

A very personal finish line
The final kilometre of any race is amazing, and with thousands lining the street on both sides, I could see that Josh was reaching deep to reconcile his emotions — his battle with addiction now tempered by the reality of finishing his first marathon. I backed off just as we reached the finish line and he crossed the line, immediately welcomed by a now-crying Lucy. John Stanton called out Josh's name as he crossed and rushed down to interview him. I don't doubt Josh felt a bit like a rock star.

I gathered myself together and jogged back to find Peter, meeting up with him at the 41k mark. He was concerned about Brent, who was being treated by paramedics a few k back. Such is this brotherhood at Harvest House. I tell him that I will check on Brent shortly. He was struggling but as with Josh, the cheering seemed to become very personal for him, the demons beaten and success assured, Peter picked up his pace and we ran through that final kilometre.

Watching him cross the finish line, again to be interviewed and cheered by everyone around, was like watching your child take their first steps, ride their first bike or walk through the doors on their first day of school. While you like to think they couldn't have done it without you, you come to realize that they can not only meet the challenge of the marathon but they can also beat their addictions. The marathon will be the context for all of them the rest of their lives as they are faced with the difficult life choices an addict faces.

Waiting and worrying
We now face a difficult reality that, until now, hadn't been even a consideration. Addicts are quitters in everything they do, whether it is relationships, trust, work, school, everything becomes secondary to getting that next fix. Brent had quit the program twice in the past few months, relapsing through wrong decisions, but each time had come back to Harvest House because of his young son and his dedication to finishing the marathon. I tell Lucy that he might not finish, and I can see she too realizes that, if Brent can't finish this race that he had made so important in his life, the consequences will likely be dire. He would be devastated, and could easily lapse into an immediate return to those bad decisions, drugs and alcohol and ultimately could lead to the end of his life.

This causes me to suddenly pick up my pace as I search for Brent like he is a missing child. But as I reach the curve at the 41k mark, there he is, tears flowing from his eyes and an awkward gait that reflects the pain and misery his feet have caused him throughout the race. We have a brief chat, and as he realizes that he is going to finish, he begins to sprint. Carrying the video camera, I struggle to match his pace, not wanting to trip or look awkward as we finish. I manage to stay with him until a few metres from the finish, where he crosses arms raised. Both of us know that when he wakes tomorrow, it could have been a completely different reality for he and I and the entire team had he not finished.

Extraordinary people
Tom finishes in a little over 5:30, a smile on his face and, in his quiet and introspective way, the twinkle in his eyes tells me that he never doubted he would finish. For a man who, early on, had told me that he had been a quitter his entire life, the quitter label had been left out on that race course. Tom is now and forever a marathoner. In fact, all eight of these incredible men who started training in February not only made it to the starting line, but all finished. John calls this an event of "ordinary people doing the extraordinary," but I have to amend this for these guys. They are truly extraordinary people who made the marathon ordinary compared to what they have faced and will face through a lifetime of battling addiction.

While I don't think all of them will run another marathon, all have found at least one reason for their addiction and that is to use it to get them to this place, to the finish line of the ING Ottawa Marathon, and to be able to show the community and others affected by addiction that they can accomplish anything they want in life. They are role models for all of us who want to discover the best parts of who we are and who we want to become.

I also made a big decision on race morning — to make this the last marathon I ever run. The first chapter of my marathon career was as a guide runner for a blind Chinese girl at Boston Marathon. It was a wonderful adventure, especially since I had never run further than 10 miles. She later had a cornea transplant and became a guide herself. The last chapter will be this other, world class event, the ING Ottawa Marathon. I have a lifetime of stories that another marathon could never add to.

Postscript
Monday night after the marathon, we all meet at the Outback Steakhouse for a final celebration together as the (dysfunctional) family that we have become over the past months. Speeches bring tears, Josh finally announces his plans to get married next summer, and the reality of the end of the journey seems to have started to sink in. Dian and Lucy seem to linger, knowing that, while there will be other projects and other stories in their CBC lives, none will ever touch them like this did.

Where else would you have such a diverse group of people sitting together, eating dinner and sipping soft drinks, all equals through running — forever linked through the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other for 42.2k? Trevor takes me aside and asks me if I would consider coaching them again, this time for the September ScotiaBank Waterfront Marathon in Toronto. Trevor, Eric, Brent, Peter, James and Remi, the Rwandan who ran his first half marathon on race weekend, have all committed to the race. It's another long term goal for a group who by necessity have to only look at their lives one day clean at a time. While I won't run it with them, there is no need to answer. They have asked Lucy to join them and while she is considering it, I have the feeling that no answer is needed from her either. How could you not jump at the chance for another once-in-a lifetime adventure?